


Hate keeps you human

by KS_Claw



Series: Ruptured worship [3]
Category: Guardians of Childhood & Related Fandoms, Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Eldritch Abomination AU, Eldritch beings that don't know what they're doing, Minor Character Deaths, Multi, Sad AU, clueless Sandy, mentioned suicide in chapter 6, tragic Pitch, we need a bigass cluebat over here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-16
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 8,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5686270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KS_Claw/pseuds/KS_Claw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events before and after of "The one with no real happy ending" and "The one from a different point of view". Sanderson Mansnoozie is a Star Being, and Star Beings are powerful, unintentionally dangerous creatures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My aim is to make this thing as tragic as possible. Brace yourselves.

Hate is a dark thing. It almost feels like regret, gunpowdery and yet so different with an acidic undertone burning its way through everything, leaving behind a pained, stinging sensation. It is at the same strangely bittersweet and so unusual for their kind that it takes Sanderson a long time realize what it is. Humans either fear his kind or love it or are angered. Hate, at least for Sanderson, is completely new.

He feels it first in LovelyOnes dreams, under the devastating sweetandsalty sorrow and mourning. Why oh why does she mourn so? Why won’t she celebrate what is the birth of DarkShadowNight? Why won’t LovelyOne join them? He offers again and again, even after DarkShadowNight asks him not to. _Silly, you are young just as she. I won you over, I will win her too.  
_

He feels it from the faithful maid too, bitter and tangy. And all he asks is to see her mistress! Why is that enough cause for such rage? Ah, he does like her spirit, but she is not LovelyOne and would not make DarkShadowNight happy.

 _PleasePleasestop_. DarkShadowNight says. _Doesn’twantthis. **I** don'twantthis._

 _ShewillShewill. YoudoYoudo_. Sanderson responds with simple finality. DarkShadowNight is not the first human that has become one of his kind. He knows what he is doing, and what he is doing is best. DarkShadowNight is still young in his new form. _Youwillgettoplaytoo_ he tells his young lover soothingly and leaves it at that.

And LovelyOne is not the first one to fight against him. Silly dear will see reason. Any human he has ever chosen does, for the most part. He just hopes he won’t break the poor dear. Humans bodies are so fragile. Delightful to play with, but oh so fragile. Sanderson is reminded grimly of this when he comes by for one of his visits, and the loyal maid informs him that her mistress has taken ill.

DarkShadowNight is unhappy with this. Tells Sanderson _enough is enoughPlease **STOP!**_

 _Onlyalittlemore_ , Sandy hums. _Littlemorelittlemore._  
 **—————————————–**

 _ **NO MORE!**_ DarkShadowNight roars at him when Sanderson comes to visit LovelyOne that night. He hid in the clouds and for a moment, Sandy is proud of how well DarkShadowNight hid so not even Sandy could sense him, the sensation like warm caramel on a summer day.

The feeling turns bitter however, when DarkShadowNight attacks him, teeth like fangs and fingers like claws as he lunges at Sanderson who dodges quickly. Anger is like bright light burning through their veins, Sandy’s in furious confusion and DarkShadowNight’s in protective rage.

 _WhyWhyWhy?_ Sandy demands, whips lashing like a lion tamer to protect himself. _Youwantshewant!_

His lover who was once human bares his fangs and snarls. _Nevernever **NEVER** likethis! **I WILL NOT SEE HER A SLAVE!**_

The wording shocks Sandy enough into leaving an opening. DarkShadowNight strikes at once, claws scratching over the older star beings form, and forcing him backwards and away from the skies above the Pitchiner mansion.

 _NeverNeverlikethis!_ Sandy tries to plead, just like he pleaded with LovelyOne on that night that to his kind only feels like a blink and a sigh ago. _Only **Our** LovelyOne yoursandmine!_

DarkShadowNight growls, pacing like a panther through the clouds, his eyes a citrusy yellow and the air dreadfully heavy with a bittersweet, gunpowdery scent.

 _Not. Yours._ DarkShadowNight hisses. Then adds sadly: _And not mine._

Sanderson doesn’t ask what he means. Instead he retreats to heal his wounds and ponder the scent of hate. That the other does not follow does not concern him. LovelyOne is ill, of course he would be worried.

And DarkShadowNight is young. He will return to him. They always do. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The-Ink-Addiction wrote a lovely piece based on these stories titled The Fall which you can [read](http://the-ink-addiction.tumblr.com/post/135463443340/fall) here as an extra reference to this chapter

But DarkShadowNight does not come back. Every meeting they have after that is a fight, no matter how Sandy tries to approach DarkShadowNight.

His young lover stays over the Pitchiner mansion, staying invisible for mortal eyes, watching over what should have been his home, and now always cloaked by bittersweet and gunpowdery scent of hate that is always aimed at Sandy, and the air smelling with the heavy rain scent of sorrow. Worst is the bitter taste of regret whenever DarkShadowNight is watching over LovelyOne’s dreams, and it makes Sandy remove any tastebuds he has in an attempt to be able to ignore that awful sensation. But it does not affect the lands of the Pitchiner estate. In fact, they flourish more than ever, with DarkShadowNight keeping an eye on it all.

Sometimes DarkShadowNight takes a human form and works among the men or women. Never the children, children are too perceptive and would see through his disguises. Sometimes he even takes the shape of a horse, pulling or carrying heavy loads, or riding to deliver messages with young men as the couriers. He does not ever approach LovelyOne, which Sandy doesn’t understand. DarkShadowNight want to stay so badly with her, but he doesn’t even touch her dreams.

Sanderson still does however, almost on the verge of begging LovelyOne to come with them both. No one is happy this way! Can’t they see that? But when he comes too close, DarkShadowNight is there to chase him away, snarling at Sandy to _**GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY!!**_

And years, what is but a breath of air to the Star being, pass by. LovelyOne grows old as humans do, and Sandy can tell it is only a matter of time before it would all be too late. If LovelyOne was lost to mortality… Sanderson has seen death before, though never with his own kind. Star beings do not die. They do not stop working in that alarming way that humans do. He did not want it to happen to DarkShadowNight, and he does not want it to happen to LovelyOne.

And then the accident happens.

DarkShadowNight is working as a messenger horse, his rider taking him to the city. Lulled into a false security by how the other has stayed away for a while, he does not expect Sandy to make a visit to LovelyOne in his dream form during the day.

Getting LovelyOne to follow him this time is easy now, her mind vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

Getting her to let go of her human form is where it all goes dreadfully wrong.

All he wanted was to make her fly. Make her become one of them at last. Instead there is a shattering of glass like a scream and her oh so vulnerable human body lies broken on the ground.

 _ **MURDERER!!!**_ DarkShadowNight screeches at Sandy, charging him with all the power he has gained over the past few years. If the moment wasn’t so tragic, Sandy would have gladly shown how proud he was of the other. But no. He lets himself be chased away and leaves his former lover to mourn the loss of his LovelyOne.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's play "spot the reference" :V part 1

Time passes. Worlds die. Star beings move on.

DarkShadowNight has given himself a new name, and Sandy can not say he approves. _“Pitch Black?”_ As in his very _coloring?_ But then Sandy has his name from a _onceuponatimelover_ who thought his form felt like fine sand. Sandy had liked it, and had later made the name fit with human society the best he could.

And it had worked for a time.

This is a new world however, and it is so very young. Sandy can see why Pitch has chosen it as a new home, even if its moon is already home to another Star being, a young one at that. Sandy doesn’t really care since it doesn’t do much except sleep as all young creatures do.

Pitch on his part is active. He has finally succeeded in creating a human shape for himself, though Sandy suspects it is partially thanks to the _storytellers_ , who unknowingly through their words give life to an entirely new world outside human perception. But even then, Pitch keeps himself from being visible to the mortal eye unless he decides otherwise, which Sandy figures is part of a game at first. He has done the same, spoken to humans first and then revealed himself. He did the same with Pitch, when he was still Kozmotis, he recalls.

And Pitch aids the humans, feeding fuel to their stories by whispering to the _storytellers_ when they sleep and sometimes when they are awake. Sandy thinks it looks amusing, but discovers much to his surprise that when he tries, especially with any humans that look like potential new lovers, the humans start awake or shy away, looking frightened.

The only ones who do not seem affected are very young children, and it annoys Sandy. Like old humans, children can be incredibly fragile, both in mind and body. There are no potential playmates or lovers or even future Star beings to be found there!

Pitch can not be everywhere however. If he wants to play this kind of game then so be it! Sandy will simply have to start with the children and open their eyes to a world of dreams, before returning to them as adults later.

Pitch does not back down. In fact, he starts talking to children in their sleep.

Sandy can tell, because they all carry a sadly familiar bittersweet, gunpowdery scent in their dreams. And the way that they only seem to become more frightened about the possibility of meeting one of Sandy’s kind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's play "Spot the reference" part 2!

The Moon is not the best conversationalist, but it’s better than nothing. It likes watching the humans, and especially the children, though it dislikes what Pitch is doing to the children, as well as the adults. The humans have given Pitch a mantle, Fear, and Pitch carries it with pride.

Sandy doesn’t like it. Pitch is so much more than that. Could be so much more! And everywhere, there is the bittersweet, gunpowdery scent of _hate_ , especially when Pitch knows Sandy has been there. But instead he has reduced himself to- to something so simple… it’s _pitiful_.

Not that Sandy is better. He has found a place for his main body to sleep somewhere deep in the oceans, while he allows a smaller part of his mind to work among the humans. He will agree with the Moon though: Once you’ve gotten used to them, the children are quite precious.

The humans of this world are evolving, and it is at least interesting to watch. The Moon (or ’ _Man in the Moon’_ , as some humans have taken to call the young Star Being), likes to watch everything, but not to interfere too much. Once in a while though, something unusual will catch its eye and Sandy will usually investigate along with it. It is through this that he first meets Toothiana, a young fairy queen who is fascinated by teeth and the memories they carry.

 _She could be fun to play with_ , Sandy thinks.

And then the Moon points him towards a Pooka, a rabbit like creature named Bunnymund, who likes helping children by giving them Hope in the form of promises of Spring and Fertility with something so simple as colored eggs. Sandy likes him too.

And finally, there is Nicholas St. North, a Russian Bandit with a talent for magic and inventions. He is a bit different, having begun his life as a human, rather than a Spirit.

There is something different about him, but Sandy can not tell what it is. He does however note, that North is not as quick to trust him as Tooth or Bunny does, but it might be a human thing.

Then he remembers how Pitch will whisper to humans at night, and how in their dreams he is warning them against Sandy’s kind. The thought of it makes Sandy frown.

And then of all things, _Manny_ (as North affectionally calls the young Star Being) gets a wonderful idea, all for the purpose of protecting the children of the world.

The first step is to ask Pitch Black to become a Guardian.

It begins and ends terribly. Sandy knows that the other Guardians are aware of Pitch, and have even spoken to him. But they do not like him. Toothiana doesn’t like his teeth, while Bunnymund just plain distrusts him. Not like Sandy, they both tell him. He feels warm and comforting, while Pitch is cold and nasty.

Sandy does not quite understand what they mean by that. He is how he has always been, but Pitch must be the one who has changed in some way.

Pitch’s appearance at the North Pole only seems to confirm that to Sandy. He is much more comfortable in his human form, tall and sleek and elegant, but unlike when he was Kozmotis, his skin is a corpse-pale grey and his eyes a sharp yellow. He greets Toothiana pleasantly, and Sandy with sarcastic indifference. North is treated with curiosity, which sadly turns into hostility when the other explains their intentions.

Pitch Black leaves the North Pole in cold rage, leaving behind an almost thick cloud of sensations of withheld anger and pure disdain. Sandy follows him however, and catches up to him, bluntly telling him that he is being stupid. _Comebackcomeback,_ he tells Pitch _, wewilltalkthisover. Do not be rash!_

Pitch sneers at him in response. “How hilarious coming from you!” He growls. “I have no reason to interact with your new playthings. I told you a long time ago to stay away from me, didn’t I?”

Sandy frowns, crossing his arms. _They are friends!_ He replies sternly, _not playthings or lovers._

“Yet.”

There is something about the way Pitch says that one word, that makes Sandy  _bristle_. Had he been in his full form, the being now known as the Sandman would have snapped up this infuriating Star Being and done… he doesn’t know what.

 _We protect the children!_ He signs angrily in Star Speak. Pitch only watches him, his expression neutral, though his eyes are gleaming with cold disgust.

“Oh I know how you just _love_ to protect children.” He growls at last. “But I will not allow it. I will not allow anyone else to suffer the fate I did.”

Before Sandy can demand an explanation, Pitch steps into a set of shadows, diving into them like a fish would dive into water, and disappears. Sandy almost stamps his foot in frustration, then heads back to North’s workshop.

He doens’t like how Pitch’s last words seem to repeat themselves in his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

Sandy does not like how he and the Guardians had to wrestle control from Pitch the way they did. But Pitch had become too dominant, too intent on spreading his dark whispers through people’s dreams. It had been especially terrible for those influenced by Sandy’s dreams in the waking world. If they were lucky, they were at most ignored, and some of their love for the stars being perceived as madness (though the thought of that makes Sandy bristle. What is so bad about loving the stars?).

At worst, some of them were condemned as what the humans called witches or warlocks, and not only as adults, but as children too. They suffer an awful fate, and a lot of the time one where death is a mercy.

Sandy recalls how such barbaric treatment happened on another world a long time ago. They believed their fellow humans had been _cursed_ by the Star Beings, and did theirs to save them. But Star Beings are possessive, Sandy admits, and sometimes they would save the humans they had chosen for their lovers.

Sandy can not be everywhere at once. He can not save everyone. Especially since he has not chosen any human lovers in a long time. Pitch, with his dark words and dark dreams, has seen to that no humans wants to truly see Sandy, keeping him from finding any lovers.

It is frustrating, and he takes out his frustrations on Pitch when it all comes to battle. And Pitch only laughs, even as he is beaten and defeated, and forced to retreat to wherever he has chosen to hide his own main body (for Sandy is convinced he isn’t so foolish that he fights the Guardians head on like that).

The Dark Ages, as the humans call them, end with a mighty bang. 

And the Guardians can sit back for a while, basking in their victory. North continues to make toys, spreading magic and wonder. Toothiana guards the memories of childhood. Bunnymund gives hope of Life and Spring to come.

And Sandy continues to send out his dreams, traveling through the night and watching humans in their sleep and sometimes in the waking world. With Pitch having retreated for now, perhaps Sandy will finally get a chance to finally see what there is among humans of potential playmates or lovers.

It does get lonely after a while, when there is only the Moon, who is much too young for what Sandy likes.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter has a mild mention of suicide

Even though Pitch is not in sight, there are still traces of his influence, even if it has weakened since the last battle. It becomes sadly evident, Sandy notices, especially among adults who specialize in storytelling or in art.

One individual writes about his kind, and Sandy finds it flattering at first. But then he finds that the poor human perceives Sandy’s kind as monsters, like many ignorant civilizations across the universe. Civilizations that are depicted in the books as now lost and fallen.

Another human dreams so beautifully and transfers it wonderfully to the canvas. But his soul is heavy, and while Sandy tries to encourage him, the dreams he gives him only seems to discourage the poor human further. The human ends his life with one of those dreadful shooting weapons, and while Sandy tries to save him, even he finds it a mercy when the humans life ends after three long days.

Sandy moves on. But the tragic deaths of the artists and storytellers he comes across weigh heavily on his mind. He tries to feel angry about it, about how Pitch must have influenced them in this way to drive them to death.

But no, he thinks sadly. He is partially responsible for it as well, even if he doesn’t like to think about it. He tries to do like he usually does, find interest in something else, or find comfort with the children. It helps, if only a little.

Perhaps he has been on this world too long. Star Beings love to travel to other worlds, and see what they can make grow in their different ways. Moon is no exception, though he is picky about his Guardians, Sandy notices. Pitch was his only impulsive move, but the younger Star Being has grown more thoughtful since then. More careful. 

This world is more his than Sandy’s, and Sandy respects that. Children should be allowed to do their own things. And one day, Sandy will move on.

He doesn’t want to be alone, though. He wants the Guardians to be with him. Surely Moon wouldn’t mind?

Moon does not mind. _But waitwait_ , he pleads. _Waitwait until Guardians are older. They are so young still._

True, Sandy thinks. They are very young, though in a different way.

And besides, there are still the children to protect. It will keep him busy for the time being.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to bring Jack into this story o3o I’ll warn at once that there will be a bit of change in some places to fit the story.

_Jack! JackJackJack! Jack Frost!_

Sandy knows about Jack, of course. He knows how Moon made him (and also how it exhausted poor Moon who used a lot of energy on the Drowned Boy).

Jack is Joy and Laughter, and while he has a human form, he is more of a Star Being.

And now Moon has made it official that Jack is to be a Guardian!

It is all so very exciting, even if North goes for the silly impulse of having Bunny kidnap him to the North Pole in a sack.

It all makes up for the fact that Pitch is showing signs of stirring again. Sandy has felt him on the edge of his conscious of course (he has made him what he is, after all, so it’s impossible not to). But the Guardians have all taken care of him once, and they will do so again. Simple as that.

But Jack! Jack Jack Jack. Sandy has met him several times in the 300 years since his Rebirth, and he can’t wait for the others to properly get to know him. Jack is Fun and Energetic and it is going to be so good!

 _Maybemaybe_ , Sandy thinks to himself, _maybemaybeDarkShadowNightwillliketoo?_

He hasn’t thought of Pitch’s old name in a long time. But he knows he will like Jack too.

Jack could be a new _LovelyOne_ for the both of them.

 _Maybe it will make everything good again?_  
—-

Jack is _angry_. He is _angry_ , he is _scared_ and he _doesn’t understand._

He is, Sandy realizes almost sadly, still more human than Star Being, as the Winter Spirit stands off against Bunnymund, the Pooka snarling at him how the children believe in him and not in Jack.

Sandy has to resist all the urge to not outright smack Bunny for being a hope _crusher_ , instead of a hope _bringer_.

Puffing in frustration, he nudges North.

It will take another human to help settle this situation. North steps in at once.

“Jack. Walk with me.”


	8. Chapter 8

The ride to the Tooth Palace is a quick rush that to Sandy feels like being tickled by bubbles. But that pleasant sensation quickly turns into cold shock at the sight of the thieving creatures that are stealing Toothiana’s source of belief.

One almost crashes into the sleigh and Sandy shields himself with an umbrella, but the black essence of the thing clings to him, an echo of something unfamiliar humming weakly through it before it turns into gold at his touch.

“They’re stealin’ the teeth!” Bunny shouts, and Sandy can only shake his head in a bewildered way.

This dust, these things… They are a part of him, but changed?

The mystery is soon solved however, when after finding a distraught Tooth (and even worse, emptied pillars where tooth boxes should be), a laughter echoes around them.

Pitch has changed since last, his figure looking thin and malnourished, and that awful sensation of bittersweet, gunpowdery hate moving invisibly around him like a cloak.

He is acting different too, Sandy notices. He moves like an actor, speaking clearly and calculated. But who is he acting for? The Guardians or himself?

And then he reveals the black sand and Sandy bristles at his bragging of _‘perfecting his little trick.’_

 _Trick?_ He is a _thief!_ He has sunk so low that he would leech energy from others for his own purposes?

Sandy’s anger must have rubbed off on the others, because Tooth sets off with a furious scream, though it only serves to have Pitch reveal one of the creatures from before, his Nightmares.

And then Pitch spots Jack. For the tiniest moment, Sandy hopes oh he hopes that Pitch will see Jack for the lovely thing he is, and calm down enough for him and Sandy to stop this nonsense.

Instead, poor Jack is only given a dry, disdainful look.

“Oh good. A neutral party.” Is all he says, before he turns away from Jack. “Then I’m gonna ignore you. But you must be used to that by now.”

Bunny needs no prompting to set off with a swear and Sandy is left stunned and shocked and _angry,_ while the others chase Pitch away.

If Pitch was making a slight at Sandy for not speaking to him, he would have to remind him that _Pitch_ is the one who has been ignoring _him!_

But for now there is Toothiana’s condition to take care of. With Moon having fallen back asleep, after using his energy to show his choosing of Jack as a Guardian, they need to gather all the power there is, in the memories of the teeth that she collects.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy your canonical character "death" =D

The black sand _unnerves_ Sandy.

Even when he knows that he can change it back to his own essence, there is such a dreadful layer of something that seems to coat it.

(When he changed the Nightmare back into a Dream Stingray, all while riding on it, he felt an urge to rush to the sea and dive deep into it to wash away the sensation.)

It brings him on edge, enough on edge that Pitch gets him provoked into grabbing him with his sand whips and slamming him around. Even as Pitch crashlands in the street below, Sandy can tell that he is not going to give up so easily.

Acting. All this _acting_ , even as Pitch crawls backwards and gets to his feet. It is so unlike him. _Why_ is he putting on this dreadful masqurade?

Being surrounded by the Nightmares feels even worse, as if the sensation, unidentifiable for now, is trying to penetrate his skin.

 _Jack Jack Jack, Jack Frost is in danger!_ A part of his mind cries, wonderful lovely Jack, he needs to be brought somewhere _safe!_

The Guardians appear at the last minute, bringing enough of a distraction for Sandy to grab Jack by his hoodie, propelling them upwards and as far away from the cloud of Nightmare Sand as possible. He throws Jack away, knowing the wind will keep him safe, while the cloud relentlessly catches up to him.

It’s so _alive_ , and yet _not_ , Sandy thinks as he wields his whips and snap them at the black currents surrounding him, again and again-

**_Pain._ **

As black sand curls through his shape, Sandy manages to turn and look at Pitch, even as pain surges through him from the arrow the other shot into his back.

 _Traitor…_ he thinks, and somewhere deep in the oceans, his main body _stirs._

But as his form is engulfed by the blackness, he manages to take in all the awful sensations it brings along with it. It is a dark longing, a kind brought by many years of _despair_ and _loneliness_ and _pain_. The despair brought on unimaginable suffering.

Sandy tries to push it away, to not think about it. But it is in his mouth, his ears, his heart, his stomach…

The darkness swallows him, and as he becomes a part of this dark, dreadful suffering, he realizes what the unidentified sensation is.

But just as quick as he realizes it, the thought about it disappears, as the last of the golden sand turns black.

Somewhere, a winter spirit roars out his grief.


	10. Chapter 10

Sandy has not had his mind in his main body for a long time, so it is a bit disorienting to suddenly wake up, and find yourself surrounded by an ocean when before you were in a city.

He grumbles, frightening away the sea-life that has settled on his body, though it soon calms down as he doesn’t do anything besides that.

He will not throw a tantrum. It is so unworthy, and it might throw something out of balance. But he also severely dislikes how so much of his Dream Sand has been stolen by Pitch. Why would he do such a thing?

Sandy fumes. Pitch is just being foolish and stubborn. He has been, ever since Sandy made him a Star Being. Always straining against Sandy’s authority, always making his own decisions, when Sandy as his senior is the one in charge.

And of all things, he tried to kill Sandy. He could feel it in it the dark sand arrow that Pitch shot into his avatar’s back. Even though he probably knew it wasn’t Sandy’s main body, Sandy saw it for what it was. A challenge.

 _Come and get me_ , it said, _come and fight me_.

Sandy scowls. He is going to do something else entirely. Pitch needs to be taught a lesson.

He can sense that the other is up to something. A problem Pitch has, is that he always seems to forget that a great part of him, is also a part of Sandy. They have been, ever since that _sadsad_ wedding night that was so full of _hurtangerpain_ and _sorrowsorrowheartbreak_ when it should be full of _joyjoyhappiness_.

The Star Being closes its vast amount of eyes and reaches out. Even if the sand has been corrupted, it is still part of him and he should be able to sense through it what is going on.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, as mentioned earlier, there is a slight difference in the script to fit the story here.

The cold of the southern Antarctic is barely noticeable to a Star being (the cold of space is no worse than a chilly summer morning), so Sandy is not too bothered when he senses Pitch and Jack there.

There is a fight happening between Pitch and Jack. Oh Jack, poor poor Jack, he thinks Sandy is gone. And Pitch… He is not acting now, Sandy notices with a frown, even as Jack screams how Pitch doesn’t understand anything!

“ _No?_ ” Pitch retorts with grief sharp as knives in his voice. “I don’t understand what it’s like to be _cast out?_ ” He dodges a blast of ice, “to not be believed in?”

Jack roars in his rage and fires a massive blast at Pitch. Pitch shields himself with a retorting blast of sand, and for a moment, Sandy feels half deaf as his corrupted essence is encased inside a grim, spiky sculpture.

From the mist that was made from the ice and sand explosion, Pitch steps into Jack’s view, all the hate for the briefest moment replaced with sorrow.

“To long for… _a family?_ ”

His grief is so _raw_ that it almost physically hurts Sandy to feel it and he shuts off most of his senses to able to bear being near the two other beings, though a familiar, _frustrated_ part of him wants to grab Pitch and **shake him**.

 _ **We** are family!_ He wants to shout at Pitch, _we have been ever since before that waste of a wedding! Why do you keep **forgetting?**_

By now, Pitch has composed himself, and he is more controlled.

“You should not waste your grief on Sanderson.” He says. “He will come back. He is not so foolish that he would let himself be killed like that. It was just another of his _masks._ ”

Jack looks at him in confusion, and Pitch smirks bitterly.

“ _Of course_ ,” he sighs with pity. “You have _no idea_ what I am talking about. But you don’t care either, do you?” He then shrugs when Jack scowls at him.

“It doesn’t matter. Just know that you should not allow him to fool you into anything… drastic. Like changing your form into something else.” He scowls, and the scent of hate returns with a vengeance.

“He is awfully good at trickery like that. I know all about it from experience.”

Even through his mental link to his essence, Sandy feels as if he has just been slapped in the face. He is reeling in shock and boiling rage, even as Pitch on his part releases a captured mini fairy and just warns Jack to stay out of his way and that he is better off alone, before he dives into the shadows made by the sand-and-ice-structure he and Jack accidentally created.

How _dare_ he.

**HOW. _DARE._ HE.**

In the now mindnumbing rage boiling through him, Sandy does not pay attention to Jack any longer. As a result, he doesn’t notice the Winter Spirit bringing out a box of teeth, or how the mini fairy helps him reveal its secrets.


	12. Chapter 12

It takes a lot of Sandy’s strength to recover his full essence, especially with the way that Pitch has been using it.

Pitch has basically been twisting Sandy’s essence wherever he has found it, giving children nightmares. The only one who has been unaffected so far is a young boy named Jamie Bennett.

Sandy uses this to his advantage. While the Guardians are fighting Pitch, he uses the boy to channel his energy, the boys innocence practically working as a filter if you will, to fully cleanse Sandy’s essence from the negative energy that Pitch has saturated it with. Wonder, Hope, Memories, Joy, all the powers of the Guardians are a part of returning Sandy’s essence to how it is supposed to be.

Pitch is startled for a bit, clearly having either not predicted this, or forgetting (again) how Sandy’s powers Work. But Pitch is soon distracted by the other Guardians who have regained their energy, though most of it is thanks to Sandy, who has merged some of his essence with Moons. The younger Star being will understand, and it’s not as if Sandy can’t easily seperate himself again. This also includes Jack, who Pitch furiously tries to knock back.

Finally, _finally_ , Sandy is able to recreate a new avatar for himself, and just in time too as he senses Pitch close by. He lashes out with his whips and smiles darkly as he feels Pitch get pulled towards him, right before Pitch can do serious damage to _dearlovelyfunjoyful_ Jack ( _You will not hurt what is minemine **MINE**_ ). Pitch is caught off guard, and it is oh so _satisfying_. It’s about time he’s reminded of what Sandy is capable of.

One swift **punch** and Pitch’s physical body (the fool is not using an avatar at that but Sandy is too angry with him to care anymore) is sent flying into the air, while Sandy easily forces his mind into a dream.

Let him dream until Sandy decides otherwise. Then he will be _begging_ his former lover to make the waking world just as good.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, a bit of change from the script.

Sandy is beginning to find Hate a _very_ irritating element Had it been anything but a natural emotion, then he is certain that he would have found a way for Pitch to stop his ridiculous behavior ages ago.

And if he wasn’t so angry and irritated as he was, then he would probably have found it intriguing how Pitch uses the Hate to free himself from Sandy’s dream in a matter of minutes, instead of what should have been weeks if not _months._

Pitch runs. What an annoyingly _human thing_ to be doing. If he is out to provoke Sandy further, then he is succeeding.

They corner him on the Burgess lake. Pitch does not care though, not even when Toothiana punches out one of his teeth for taking her fairies.

“You are all _dooming_ this world.” Pitch says coldly, when he has straightened himself up again. “So long as you side with _ **it.**_ ” He scowls at Sandy as he speaks. Sandy glares right back.

 _It?_  He has not been called that in a long time. So it has come to that?

“You were right, though.” Jack speaks up. “Sandy came back, just like you said.” He is frowning however, his eyes questioning. Sandy does not like it.

The look Pitch gives Jack is strangely pitying.

“I feel sorry for you, drowned boy.” He says sadly, “I hope you find out how much they have stolen from you with their games.”

Bunny growls, thinking it is aimed at the Guardians. Sandy knows otherwise.

Controlling the Nightmares is easy, and the Star being smiles when he sees that Pitch knows they are no longer his.

 _It is not too late to apologize_ , he calls through the bond they formed so long ago.

All he is given is a hateful glare.

“I have nothing to say to a _murderer_ and _thief_.” Pitch Black says coldly.

Sandy fumes in annoyance, but shrugs off the insult.

_So be it._

The Nightmares pounce. Pitch doesn’t fight as they drag him off. He doesn’t even scream.

But through their bond, Sandy surprisingly hears him laugh in a strange, relieved triumph, even as the Nightmares drag him underground, tear what there is of Sandy’s essence out of him, and devour the rest.


	14. Chapter 14

Jack is quiet and thoughtful as they return to the North Pole. He disappears off to somewhere in the Workshop, while North gets busy setting up a victory celebration. Sandy can’t tell where, because as he promised himself, he pulled back his essence from Moons.

There has been enough of that nonsense as it is by Pitch.

He thinks about this later, while he is purifying some of the remaining Nightmares back into dreams. It’s almost a shame, as they are _beautiful_ , but they also negate all of his hard work. His and the Guardians.

“Sandy?”

And there is _dearlovelyone_ Jack! Sandy smiles warmly at him and waves as the last Nightmare is turned into a flock of birds that fly around him and Jack, before they merge with the rest of Sandy’s dream cloud.

“Sandy, I was wondering…” Jack says, slowly and carefully, as if he is trying to make a difficult decision.

Sandy tilts his head, frowning in question at Jack’s words.

Jack then frowns, before he in a moment of insecurity pulls up his hood and turns away. “Sorry. Nevermind.”

Well if that doesn’t just kill the mood.

Sandy casts a thread of sand that gently catches Jack around his wrist and he smiles when Jack looks back at him.

 _Sit with me and talk?_ he asks.

Jack hesitates, but then shakes his head.

“I need to think about things first.” He says, and sets off, before Sandy can stop him. Sandy puffs a cloud of dreamsand, but leaves Jack be for now. 

He’ll come talk, when he feels ready. And if not Sandy, then perhaps one of the other Guardians.

They have plenty of time.


	15. Chapter 15

What once was Kozmotis Pitchiner is not gone, of course.   
  
There are the smallest pieces of his essence left, the part that was both Kozmotis Pitchiner, _DarkShadowNight_ and of course, Pitch Black.  
  
Sandy has picked them all carefully from the bellies of the Nightmares that had torn him to pieces, before Sandy turned them back into Dream Sand. Oh, what was left was not really _alive_ , but it was not _dead_ either.  
  
Star Beings can not die. But they can be picked apart until they have no sense of themselves anymore. Such was the case with Super Novas, for instance.  
  
All that is left of his former lover, are nothing more than bits of sand corn to the untrained eye. But Sandy knows better, as he carefully puts these sand corns inside the shell of a lovely, golden oyster, so that they don’t disappear.  
  
In these tiny bits of essence, there are bits of memories. Memories that Sandy can read through, and perhaps finally figure out where everything went wrong. Why his lovely Kozmotis became Pitch Black.  
  
Why he was nothing, like _dearlovelysweetjoy_ Jack.  
  
Jack is different, perhaps because he is Moon’s and not Sandy’s. But then, Moon went back to sleep as soon as he had given Jack his name.  
  
At least Jack doesn’t _hate_ Moon. But he is still _bitter_ , and he releases this bitterness through his words when he is finally ready to talk, speaking of all the years he was alone (300 years is almost nothing to Sandy, but he decides to wait with telling Jack about that.)  
  
Jack talks and talks and talks. He talks about the loneliness, of not being seen, how being walked through would sometimes feel like being _punched or stabbed in the gu_ t. And then to be brought to the North Pole, and told you are chosen to be something because your _‘maker’_ said so, and they don’t even say it to you personally? He was told he should be _grateful._ Instead, it just felt _worse._  
  
“I had a _sister_.” Jack finishes, looking sadly at the Toothbox that he learned this fact from, “and I _saved_ her.” He frowns hard, his eyes welling up with tears. “Why couldn’t the Moon let me remember? Why couldn’t he let me have my _family?_ ”  
  
Sandy has no answer.


	16. Chapter 16

He sits quietly with the oyster in his hands, looking thoughtfully at its contents. The bits of sand have now become pearls, and they are stretched out on a string, long enough to form a necklace. But then, Sandy thinks, his former lover did have a rather long life, before that battle in Burgess. 

All of the pearls are of different colors, ranging from pale white to light pink, some in blues and reds, and slowly moving over to grey, and a few that are very dark purple. A slow progression, from his lovers time as a man, to his final days as a Star Being.

The strange thing about these pearls however, is that there is a light coated sheen over some of them, like some form of protective layer. It’s not something that can be scrubbed off, and when Sandy touches them, he gets the sense of a very, familiar bittersweet, gunpowdery scent. 

_‘I have nothing to say to a **murderer** and **thief**.’_

Ugh, even in his non-existence, the other is being unreasonable and downright _ungrateful,_ Sandy thinks darkly before he carefully concentrates, and opens for the memories that are inside of these pearls.

The first memories are not so bad. They are about Kozmotis Pitchiner, from his point of view, long before he became a Star Being. Sandy remembers them fondly, because they are also around the same time, where Sandy had first noticed Kozmotis. There are snippets of conversation between him and Kozmotis, though he notices there is a note of apprehension at first, though Kozmotis soon relaxes before Sandy reveals himself. Ah, Sandy does look fine in his Star Pilot form, and he remembers fondly the expression Kozmotis had when he first saw him.

 _How prettypretty_ , he sighs wistfully, _suchaloss suchashame._ He moves on to the next set of pearls, which he finds takes place a few years later. Kozmotis is so excited, because he is heading off to meet with someone. Sandy can practically feel the other vibrating with excitement and anticipation.


	17. Chapter 17

Sandy remembers when he was first told of _LovelyOne_ , and how the now only partly human (though he thought otherwise) Kozmotis had shown him her portrait in a locket, and how he was asking permission to court the young woman (humans and their rituals, _honestly._ They could be charming but they dragged out _for so long!_ ) 

Sandy had thought she was pretty, and had looked in on conversations his young lover had been in with her. And the more he saw of her, the more he liked her. She had a lovely laughter, he thought, the kind that made the air _sing._

Seeing her from his own perspective is one thing. But seeing her through Kozmotis’ eyes is something else entirely. She seems to him even more beautiful than should be possible, and her smile is so _radiant._

 _She would have made an even more beautiful Star being,_ Sandy thinks with a pout, thinking about how excited his former lover had been, when he told Sandy that she was letting him court her. And how happy Kozmotis had been, his joy tasting like freshly fallen snow, when she had agreed to marry him.

Sandy recalls how excited he had been too, as he moved to the next set of pearls. More people meant _more lovers_ and _playmates_ , more company to travel with through the stars when this world got too old.

But, he recalls vaguely, he had been the only to talk about how _LovelyOne_ should become like him, how she and Kozmotis should join him the way _he_ wanted. Kozmotis had laughed once, while saying _“maybe when our children are grown up.”_

But there had been no children. No strapping boys or pretty girls.

And Sandy is grimly reminded of that, when he opens the memories that remind him of the wedding.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been a lovely ceremony in Kozmotis’ memories. Sandy recalls vaguely that he had found it lovely as well, if a bit drawn out. The party was dragging on, and Sandy watches his younger self through the eyes of Kozmotis, the past Star Being wanting _something to do!_ He wants to _play_ , he wants to be out of his smaller form that people find so cute and harmless.

He keeps pestering Kozmotis about it through the party. _Let'sdance, let'smove, let'sFLY!_

Kozmotis, the present Sandy can tell, can feel how past Sandy wants more than just dancing and moving and flying. He only gives in, Sandy realizes, so the other can stop pestering him and so that he can spend more time with his bride afterward.

Sandy recalls how he had been too excited at the time, to realize how Kozmotis is feeling about Sandy’s behavior. He is in a quiet part of his mind comparing Sandy to an energetic child that is on a sugar rush, though in this case, the sugar is in the form of all the positive emotions from the wedding party. 

The Sandy in the past doesn’t hesitate either. As soon as they find a quiet balcony, he kisses Kozmotis deeply, nipping and tugging with teeth and lips, and all through their bond urging Kozmotis to change with him, to free himself from that stupid, constraining human form, _justforamoment, justatinyquickmoment._

Kozmotis inwardly sighs, and the present Sandy feels a twinge when he realizes how through it all, he has only been thinking of his LovelyOne, even as he carefully recalls Sandy’s teachings on how to change forms, and lets his human form dissipate.

Past Sandy is excited, because tonight is not just a night for weddings but for births, births of new Star Beings/playmates/companions/lovers. He hums this happily to Kozmotis through their bond, giving him his name, _DarkShadowNight_ because of his handsome black colors. 

A woman, _LovelyOne_ who has come to find her missing groom, **_screams!_** And the newly made Star Being that was now _DarkShadowNight_ is whisked away by a protective Sandy, numb from shock at the terror he saw on his bride’s face, and the appearance of the aggressive soldiers who were his comrades-in-arms in the army.

A part of the vows had been that he would always protect her, that she would never have a reason to be afraid of him. But there she had been in her wedding gown, her eyes wide in fear before she had turned and run. 

Sandy shudders as the memory ends, feeling _DarkShadowNights_ despair.  
He moves on to the next set of pearls, ignoring the damp sensation on his lashes. It happens with his humanoid form sometimes. It means nothing.


	19. Chapter 19

He never really talked with _DarkShadowNight_ , Sandy realizes at some point. He just told _DarkShadowNight_ that he would take care of everything when they didn’t get _LovelyOne_ with them after the wedding right away. At the time, it had seemed like the most simple thing to do.

 _DarkShadowNight_ had been too distressed, (too _traumatized_ Sandy figures now) at first, too _shaken_ by all that had happened, when Sandy had taken him away from all that he knew, his family, his estate, his _wife_.

Sandy would bring him along, when he went to visit the Pitchiner estate and asked to see the Lady Pitchiner. And for each rejection, _DarkShadowNight_ just sank into a deeper despair.

Seeing things from _DarkShadowNight’s_ perspective makes everything feel so… sad. Sandy thinks, as he momentarily pulls away from those memories. Like everything was covered in a thin layer of dust, that you couldn’t wash off or brush away.

At least, until he heard how _LovelyOne_ had gotten sick. Which in his eyes had been Sandy’s fault.

Sandy, the Star Being who had taken a liking to him, who had shared his love for the stars, and who had taught him so many things, such as how a corporeal form didn’t truly mean anything. It was just a shell for your true self.

Sandy, who only took a form of his own to wander among humans, who he saw as either playmates or potential lovers or companions.

Sandy. A _selfish, impatient_ Star Being used to getting its own way. Who ignored his recently changed lover that had been forced to leave his family, his home and his bride. Who was now doing more harm than good, in an attempt to make everything “ _better_ ” for a traumatized newborn Star Being. And who brushes _DarkShadowNight_ off, when the other wants to him to stay away from _LovelyOne!_

Sandy pulls away from those particular pearls, frowning darkly. The strange, feeling had disappeared, but it had been promptly replaced by that nasty, gunpowdery bittersweet _hate._


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, time to end everyone’s suffering o3o thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed (in some way). If the mood strikes me, I might write a slightly happier “what if” to this story.

Sandy sighs, closing the golden oyster. In the very long life he has lived, Sandy could not ever recall having met another Star Being that carried that scent. Not towards him, or towards anyone else. Trueborn Star Beings like Sandy were usually above such emotions; They could feel joy, and reveled in it. They could feel sorrow and disappointment, and of course anger. They could, in very rare cases, be driven mad by some of the powerful emotions like sorrow and anger. 

And, Sandy confesses to himself, he had not kept his own anger in control after all that Pitch had done. But _hate?_ Hate had been unheard of until Pitch.

But perhaps, Sandy thought sadly, that was something _DarkShadowNight_ had realized. He had felt anger towards Sandy, and then hate when… the golden Star Being sighed. He did not need to look into the pearls for those particular memories of that awful, tragic day. 

But Pitch had clung to the hate, as perhaps a last, desperate effort to have a part that remained human.

It certainly explained why the pearls didn’t feel like they were the remains of a Star Being. Pitch Black, as horrid as he had been, had wanted to stay a human until the end. Even if it meant angering his former lover with cruel trickery and awful words.

And, Sandy thought, he had wanted to _protect_ the humans of this world in his way. He did not want to have anyone else go through the kind of suffering he had gone through. To him, becoming a Star Being had been the greatest tragedy and mistake of his own life. And keeping humans _afraid_ of Sandy had perhaps been cruel, but in Pitch Black’s eyes it had been a necessity.

Sandy’s thoughts return to Jack, _lovelybeautifuljoyful_ Jack, and how _vulnerable_ he is, and how _sad_. Sandy frowns, gently caressing the oyster shell in his hands. Despite being part Star Being, he was still so very much human. And while Moon had chosen him for an entirely different reason than Sandy did with Kozmotis in his time, there are still so many mistakes that have already been made.

This entire battle has changed all of them, in more ways than one. Sandy may have pulled his essence away from the others, so they are more part of Moon again, but if he concentrates, he can still sense North’s bellowing laugh, the buzz of Toothiana’s wings, the warm grass under Bunnymund’s paws, and the cold wind ruffling through Jack’s hair.

He huffs, and he allows the golden oyster in his hands to sink into the water. He creates a mermaid out of his dreamsand, and it picks up the oyster, before diving deep into the water on his command. It will take the shell into the deepest, darkest part of the ocean, where it won’t be disturbed by anything except for the occasional deep sea life.

Perhaps there, in the dark and cold, what remains of Kozmotis, _DarkShadowNight_ and Pitch Black, will find a bit of peace.


End file.
